It wasn’t the right time. I may have been overwhelmed.

It was Christmas, 40 years ago. We had traveled to Carroll, IA, from Omaha as we often did, with four children, food, and presents packed in the minivan.

I had wrapped the gifts in brown kraft paper with red ribbons and handmade stamps applied (made from carving shapes into potatoes? or sponges?) and red paint. The shapes were simple and nature themed, like trees and pinecones, subtly adding color.

Natural colors were my favorite, and still are. Red is too flamboyant for me.

But, my dad, a generous gardener and experimenter was forcing amaryllis bulbs for the first time in pots all laid out on the table. Grandma Schelle raved over the few that had opened up.

He offered me one, expressing his joy in being able to prepare and present this gift.

But I refused it. And I feel guilty to this day, every time I see a red amaryllis.

However, I can say that I now appreciate them, thanks to Dad. Maybe that’s a message from him in heaven that he’s forgiven me.

Enjoy your gifts,

Shirley